What a hot load of garbage! I’m back from my week-long American Idol strike, and for what? This?!? What a waste, what a true waste.
Thankfully, last night’s episode was only an hour long. If I had to sit through any more of that dull crap, I probably would’ve started carving my own wrists, just for some form of entertainment.
This is it, ya’ll: American Idol is down to the Top 4. These kids have really made it. Only contestants who made it to the Top 4 have really gone on to become anything of even mild importance.
Last night’s performance episode of American Idol had no real theme, it was more of a mish-mash of two themes.
¡Hola, amigos! Hoy es Cinco de Mayo, y, ¡Ay dios mio!, there are only five contestants left on American Idol! Do you know what that means? Next week, there will be only four contestants left! (Math is, like, so hard, right??)
It also means that, now, there is enough time during the American Idol performance episodes to make let each kid sing twice. YAY.
During last night’s show, each contestant sang a song from “now” (from the past five years, or so), and a song from “then” (from the 1960s or 1970s). Thus, the clever American Idol producers dubbed the theme of the night, “Now and Then”.
Ok, enough jib-jabbing, time to start this stupid American Idol Season 10 recap shenanigans:
Remember: With only 6 contestants remaining, HALF of them will be in this week’s bottom three. Terrifying, right?
As contestants are slowly weeded out each week, more and more of American Idol‘s 90-minute time slot opens up, and it simply must be filled. How WILL they do it?
The American Idol contestants have been whittled down to the Top 7!
Opening last night’s show, was a performance by the 6 contestants that have already been booed off the stage (of the original Top 13). In case you’ve already forgotten who their names, they are: Ashthon Jones, Karen Rodriguez, Naima Adedapo, Paul McDonald, Pia Toscano, & Thia Megia.
Their performance was nothing less than dreadful, serving as a true reminder of why we sent them home in the first place. Goodbye, and good riddance! Especially Naima. Lord knows, nobody ever wants to see her ugly mug again.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get on with the show.
Every week, another contestant goes home. Isn’t it beautiful?
But this week (and probably every coming week for the rest of the season) is a real nail-biter. WHO WILL LEAVE US? It’s such a tough call, everyone left is really good. However, some of them – err, one of them is not someone anyone should like. Guess who?
Here we go…
Oh, what a week. The worst singers in the world were finally voted off American Idol last week, and the whole of humanity in possession of functioning ears could not be happier.
Now that we’re down to the Top 9, we have a little predicament: the remaining contestants are all pretty good. No one induced ear bleeding during last night’s performance… So who will go home? Nobody knows.
After last week’s emotional results show, I cannot wait for tonight’s eliminations. It’s my birthday, so I positively DEMAND that things go my way tonight. There will be TWO contestants going home, and I’m so nervous, I could puke.
Sadly, The Oprah Winfrey Show will come to an end on May 25. I ain’t mad at that!
You know what I am mad at? – The Oprah Winfrey Network has given a new show to the grossest, most repulsive female person on the planet: Rosie O’Donnell. Gross.
Does anyone really want to hear Rosie harp on and on about her lame opinions? NO.
If anyone wanted to hear her speak, Rosie Cheeks wouldn’t have been booted off of The View.
Duh. Fail, fail, fail. Obviously, the Harpo homies had to ensure that Oprah’s “replacement” was fatter, uglier, and louder than Oprah, so as to make everyone miss Oprah even more, thus serving her ever-enlarging ego.
This new show will be filmed on the exact same soundstage at Harpo Studios (in Chicago), as The Oprah Winfrey Show.
About this new show, Rosie said:
“It’s a huge thrill for me, and I’m beyond the beyond.”
Well, of course she’s thrilled, it’s the only real job she’s had in years. To make matters worse, Rosie is already set to do at least 130 episodes. ONE HUNDRED THIRTY!!!! Good god, pray help us through these dark, dark days.
The one comforting fact in all of this, is that Rosie’s show will not be on network TV, it will be on Oprah’s cable network OWN, which is only viewed by Oprah’s lame body of fans.
All I can say is, Thank GOD I don’t live in Chicago.
This show is torturous. Every week, viewers die a little more inside. At least we have J.Lo’s gorgeous-ness to comfort us as we lay dying.
