Hot Shiitake Archives

Harvard Professor Expels Obscene Amount Of Time & Energy Trying To Get $4 Back From Chinese Restaurant

Harvard Professor Emails Chinese Restaurant

What would you do if you discovered a restaurant, whose food you’d enjoyed, had overcharged you by $4 on what you’d expected would be a $53.35 bill? You’d probably feel annoyed, but do nothing, because you’re a lazy human just like the rest of us, right?

But now, imagine you’re a douchey associate professor at Harvard Business School, and a restaurant, whose food you’d enjoyed, overcharged you by $4. Bet that changes things, huh? No? You’re still a normal human, you think? Well, you think wrong. You’d raise hell and spend countless hours writing pointless emails to the humble owners of Ye Ole Mom and Pop Chinese Restaurant (real name, Sichuan Garden in Brookline Village), because your time isn’t valuable and you haven’t a thing more important (and certainly nothing more entertaining) to do, nosiree.

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Miss Utah USA: Marissa Powell Trips & Falls In Her Own Word Vomit — VIDEO

Miss Utah Answer

The 2013 Miss USA pageant took place yesterday, Sunday, June 16, 2013, and the gowns were probably great and blah, blah, blah… who watches those pageants, anyways; right? But, as pageants are wont to do, the Question and Answer round is where we found our true breakout star: Miss Utah USA, Marissa Powell.

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Charlie Sheen: Farrah Abraham Has ‘Tranny-Boobs’ & ‘Five O’Clock Shadow’ — Riotous Rejection Letter

Charlie Sheen Disses Farrah Abraham

Just yesterday (June 13, 2013), Farrah Abraham went running her mouth about how she and Charlie Sheen had been texting each other — the terrible twosome even planned to go on some sort of date-type-thing (weird; we know). Well, in a new, hilarious development, it seems that date will no longer be happening…

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Chad ‘Ochocinco’ Johnson Arrested & Thrown In Jail — No Butts About It

Chad Johnson Arrested

Fallen NFL star, Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson, has been sentenced to 30 days in jail… because he slapped his male lawyer’s butt in court.

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Kanye West Is Gay & Kim Kardashian Is A Lesbian — The Cold, Hard Truth

Kanye West Gay

Thanks to a certain characteristically out-of-touch celebrity gossip rag, questions about Kanye West‘s sexuality have recently risen to the surface.

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A Very Honey Boo Boo Wedding — Mama June & Sugar Bear Get Hitched

Honey Boo Boo Wedding

Everyone’s favorite country bumpkins, the Honey Boo Boo family, had a big ol’ redneck wedding yesterday, May 5, 2013, in their ultra-chic, ultra-exclusive Georgia backyard.

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Justin Bieber In Hospital For Breathing Problems — What A Gas (Mask)

Justin Bieber Hospitalized

Justin Bieber lost his breath and collapsed (i.e. fainted like a little girl) on stage at his concert in London at the O2 arena (this all went down on Thursday, March 7, 2013, if you really must know the exact date). Biebs stopped the show, got checked out by docs backstage, and then, by the grace of god, found the strength to come back and finish his concert. The show must go on, after all.

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Rob Kardashian Weight Gain — He’s Like, Really, Really Fat, You Guys

Rob Kardashian Fat

Yep. Rob Kardashian is fat. There’s no way around it (or him, for that matter).

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Kim Kardashian’s Peplum Pregnancy Pants: An Unrivaled Evil In Our Modern World

Kim Kardashian Peplum Pants

Forget about the economy, the war in Iraq, the starving children in Africa — DROP EVERYTHING, because the terrorists have launched their latest attack on America. The devil takes many forms, and this time, the devil is not wearing sheep’s clothing. Nay, he is rearing his ugly head in all its fury. Yes; the devil and Kim Kardashian‘s maternity pants are most certainly one and the same.

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Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux: America’s Most Boring Couple Gets All Matchy-Matchy Penguin Time

Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston Matching

Just when you think Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux couldn’t possibly get more “blah” … they wear these matchy-matchy black and white ensembles to some boring event at the Beverly Hilton. (In case you’re just dying to know, the humdrum event in question was the 26th Annual American Cinematheque Awards on November 15, 2012 – bet you’re so glad we told you, right?).

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