Enjoy yourself some glittery boobs and biyaaaaatchez.

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez gets her freaking glam on at the Glamour Magazine Women of the Year Awards, in New York City. (November 7, 2011)

Carrie Underwood

Carrie Underwood is blinged out to the teeth, like a Texas prom queen, at the 45th Annual CMT Awards, in Nashville. (November 9, 2011)

Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba demonstrates the weird butt-crease look, created by an ill-fitting pair of Spanx, at the opening of the Armani Hotel Milano, in Milan, Italy. (November 10, 2011)

*It is important to note that, while Jessica Alba’s Armani dress looks quite undoubtedly wretched, her face and body look quite considerably less-than-terrible, qualifying her as “not half bad”. We’ve got admittedly low standards here at Hot Shiitake.

Sofia Vergara

Sofia Vergara looks all statuesque ‘n stuff at the 12th Annual Latin Grammy Awards, in Las Vegas. (November 10, 2011)

Demi Lovato’s Boobs

Demi Lovato sports a booby look at the 12th Annual Latin Grammy Awards, in Las Vegas. (November 10, 2011)

Maria Menounos

Maria Menounos shakes what her mama gave her — with the help of multiple padded push-up bras — at the Pussycat Dolls Burlesque Saloon, in Las Vegas. (November 12, 2011)