Lady Gaga‘s “Born This Way” music video premiered earlier today.

In other words, Lady GagMe has cursed the world with yet another amazingly long string of her very own fecal matter. And the icing on the poo cake is this: the “Born This Way” music video is somehow even more terrible than it is lengthy.

Spoiler Alert: Lady GagMe went for an, umm, “out of this world” look for her “Born This Way” music video…

Lady Gaga ‘Born This Way’ Music Video — Verrrry Familiar

Lady Gaga’s supposedly new music video is excessively reminiscent of her own “Alejandro” music video; both videos are self-indulgently lengthy, and both videos include an even more excessively lengthy introduction, adding to their general torturous nature (the “Born This Way” music video’s introduction is a whopping 2min, 30sec long).

The excruciating introduction alone is enough to make one consider taking their own life. “Born This Way” (aka “BTW,” aka “BTDubzz”) also includes the same bit featured in “Alejandro,” where Skeletor Lady Gaga dances in her bra and underwear, showcasing her bulimia, hideous hair, and even more hideous face – but at least the “Alejandro” music video had a decent song behind it to drag viewers’ carcasses through to the end of the video.

That’s something this new video cannot claim. “Born This Way” (aka “BTW,” aka “BTDubs”) is an awful song, and now we’ve got this awful video, to match. The single almost-entertaining part of this entire monstrosity was when Lady Gaga appeared to pull some type of foreign object from her vagina. And the GagMe Monster even managed to make that – something that sounds so freaking fan-tabular – into an extreme borefest.

All of this leaves one feeling extremely puzzled. Lady Gaga seems to pour every ounce of her energy into convincing the world (and, perhaps, herself) that she’s unique… So why is this just more of the same? Why must she keep trying so hard to shock the world with her ugliness? We get it, Gaga, you’re ugly! At this point, only two feasible options remain for you: stop trying so hard, or simply go away.

We, at Hot Shiitake, can’t see how or why anyone would want to subject themselves to watching this video, but we suffered through it, and misery loves company, so go ahead and watch it. We dare you. It’s a painstakingly long 7 minutes and 20 seconds; you have been warned.

The Lady Gaga Born This Way Official Video (Blech)

See? It’s terrible. And what’s up with Gaga’s face? She’s been wearing some sort of weird, boney facial protrusion lately. Hmm, we’re pretty sure you were NOT born that way, Lady GagMe.

WATCH: Lady Gaga ‘Alejandro’ Music Video

Now, watch Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” music video, and compare it to her so-called “new” video for “Born This Way”. Someone isn’t as creative as they’d like the world to believe…